The Ultimate Question, part 113

[about Monk]

Lt. Randall Disher: Uh, yeah, he has some idiosyncrasies...

James Novak: Like what?

Lt. Randall Disher: Uh, fear of heights, fear of germs, spiders, milk...

Natalie Teeger: [ticking off on her fingers] ...crowds, elevators, fire...

Lt. Randall Disher: ...Rabbits, tunnels, bridges...

Natalie Teeger: ...Boats...

Lt. Randall Disher: ...Decaffinated coffee...

Natalie Teeger: ...Lightning...

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: The wind, he's afraid of the wind.

Lt. Disher: Egg whites.

Natalie Teeger: Bad.

Lt. Disher: Naked people. That one is way up there. I think it goes naked people, and then death.

 

- Monk (TV series)

The Ultimate Question, part 111

[As Homer fights for his life against one of Fat Tony's men]

Mark Hamill: Homer, use the-!

Homer: The Force?

Mark Hamill: The forks! Use the forks!

- The Simpsons

The Ultimate Queston, part 115

Ziva: I'm driving.

Tony: I'm dead.

- NCIS (TV series)

The Ultimate Question, part 232

McGee: [after Tony asks Ziva to hit him in the abdomen] As hard as she can?

Tony: As hard as you can.

McGee: You know that's how Houdini died?

Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?

Ziva: It is possible, I do not remember all their names.

- NCIS

The Ultimate Question, part 110

Tony: [after hitting the comic book McGee's reading] Does that make you wanna hit me?

McGee: It's really tempting. But I think I'm gonna pass. [Ziva walks in] Maybe Ziva'll do it.

Ziva: Maybe Ziva will do what?

Tony: I've been working on my six-pack. You know? Abs.

Ziva: You and Abby have been drinking?

Tony: No, abdominals. No more beer gut for me. I've been training hardcore. Hitting the core hard. Carved. Hard as wood.

McGee: To match your head.

- NCIS

The Ultimate Question, part 109

"I'm your commanding officer, and I'm ordering you to dance. DANCE, GODDAMNIT!"

- Bill Django in 'The Men Who Stare at Goats' (film)

The Ultimate Question, part 108

"Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children,
  and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. Enjoy."

- Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

The Ultimate Question, part 107

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited; imagination encircles the world."

- Albert Einstein

The Ultimate Question, part 106

Hotchner: This is Dr. Reid

Heather’s Brother: Doctor? You seem too young to have gotten into medical school...

Reid: They're PhD's, three of them.

Heather’s Brother: Are you a genius or something?

Reid: I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. [gets a weird look] Yes, I’m a genius.

- Criminal Minds

The Ultimate Question, part 105

Sherlock Holmes: Did he offer you money to spy on me...?

John Watson: Yes.

Sherlock Holmes: Did you take it?

John Watson: ...No.

Sherlock Holmes: Pity, we could've split the fee. Think it through next time.

- Sherlock (TV series)

The Ultimate Question, part 104

"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself."

- William Faulkner

The Ultimate Question, part 103

"I respect a woman who stands up for herself. Even if she does like sticking her nose in other

   people's business!"

- Muta in The Cat Returns

The Ultimate Question, part 107

John Watson: This is how you get your kicks, isn't it? You risk your life to prove you're clever.
Sherlock Holmes: Why would I do that?
John: Because you're an idiot.

- Sherlock (Tv series)

The Ultimate Question, part 102

John Watson: What are you doing?
Sherlock Holmes: Nicotine patch. Helps me think. It's impossible to sustain a smoking habit in London these days.
John: That's good news for breathing.
Sherlock: Ah, breathing. Breathing's boring.

- Sherlock (TV series)

The Ultimate Question, part 101

"You rely too much on precedent, you never allow for the unexpected."

- Jason Gideon in Criminal Minds

The Ultimate Question, part 100

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every
   wickedness."

- Joseph Conrad

The Ultimate Question, part 112

"When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you."

- Friedrich Nietzche

The Ultimate Question, part 114

"All is riddle, and the key to a riddle is another riddle."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Ultimate Questio, part 110

Gideon: "Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

Reid: Samuel Beckett.

Morgan: "Try not. Do, or do not."

Reid: Yoda.

- Criminal Minds

The Ultimate Question, part 99

"Whenever someone creates something with all of their heart, then that creation is given a soul."

- Baron Humbert von Gikkingen in The Cat Returns

The Ultimate Question, part 98

"Mostly I meaned that if a child is dissapointed enough, he become so mistrustful that he say
  'they aren't exist' even after he saw the real Santa."

- Taylor Halme in 'Under the North Star'