The Ultimate Question, part 291

"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity."

- Edgar Allan Poe

The Ultimate Question, part 290

"To Michelle: Let me say this publicly. I have never loved you more. I have never been prouder of watching the rest of America fall in love with you too as our nation's First Lady.
   To Sasha and Malia: I'm really proud of you guys. But I will say for now, one dog's probably enough."

- Barack Obama in his acceptance speech

The Ultimate Question, part 289

"Humans cannot reject temptation. When they are plunged into the depths of despair, likened to hell, they will hold on to anything that may help them escape from the situation they are in, even if it's merely a spider's thread, no matter what sort of humans they are."

- Sebastian Michaelis in Black Butler

The Ultimate Question, part 288

"Someones can and someones does not bother. That's all."

- Winnie the Pooh

The Ultimate Question, part 287

Martin: You know, Laurie, I was just thinking that maybe it's about time you and me started going steady, huh?

Laurie Jorgensen: Why Martin Pawley, you and me been going steady since we was three years old!

Martin: We have?

Laurie: 'Bout time you found out about it.

 

- The Searchers

The Ultimate Question, part 286

"Nevermind the herds of street-sheep and their haute-couture imitators: the Queen is the best example of English sartorial eccentricity."

- Watching the English by Kate Fox

The Ultimate Question, part 285

"Nature always wins - with humans or without them."

- Pentti Malaska

The Ultimate Question, part 284

"I can't get him to speak!" Michael whispered miserably.
"It's just a tantrum," Sophie said. Martha and Lettie were good at having tantrums too. She knew how to deal with those. On the other hand, it is quite a risk to spank a wizard for getting hysterical about his hair.

- Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

The Ultimate Question, part 283

"I'm on my feet, pacing around the room, punching a fist into my palm, which I stop doing when I realise how drama queen it feels." 

- Plugged by Eoin Colfer

The Ultimate Question, part 282

"After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of the these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations."

- David Sedaris in  Me Talk Pretty One Day

The Ultimate Question, part 281

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer so you grab your enemies while your friends hit them." 

- Silvia Heidi

The Ultimate Question, part 280

The Doctor: The pest-controllers of the universe, that's how the tales went, isn't it?

Amy: Wow. That's some seriously weird bedtime story.

The Doctor: You can talk, wolf in your grandmother's nightdress?

 

- Doctor Who

The Ultimate Question, part 279

The Doctor: Can I borrow your horse, please? It's official Marshall business. [He mounts the preacher's horse]

Preacher: He's called Joshua. It's from the Bible. It means "the deliverer".

[The horse snorts]

The Doctor: No, he isn't.

Preacher: What?

The Doctor: I speak horse. He's called Susan.

[The horse snorts]

The Doctor: And he wants you to respect his life choices.

 

- Doctor Who

The Ultimate Question, part 278

[The dwarves are examining their newly cleaned kitchen.] 
Sneezy: Hey, someone stole our dishes! 
Happy: They ain't stole. They're hid in the cupboard. 
Bashful: My cup's been washed. Sugar's gone. 
Happy: [sees a pot cooking over the fireplace] Something's cooking. [sniffs] Smells good. 
[He and Dopey walk towards it; Grumpy jumps in front of them.] 
Grumpy: Don't touch it, you fools! Might be poison. [the pot hisses; they jump back] See? It's witch's brew.

- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937 film)

The Ultimate Question, part 277

"There's one thing worse than change and that's the status quo."

- Smiley's people by John le Carré

The Ultimate Question, part 276

"Thus the wise and worthy singer
Sings not all his garnered wisdom;
Better leave unsung some sayings
Than to sing them out of season."

- Kalevala

The Ultimate Question, part 275

“The man had a smooth voice, like velvet. “I’m Detective Inspector Me. Unusual name, I know. My family were incredibly narcissistic. I’m lucky I escaped with any degree of humility at all, to be honest, but then I’ve always managed to exceed expectations. You are Kenny Dunne, are you not?”
   “I am.”
   “Just a few questions for you, Mr Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we’ve become friends these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?”
   “Sure,” Kenny said, slightly baffled.
   “Thank you. Thank you very much. It’s important you feel comfortable around me, Kenny. It’s important we build up a level of trust. That way I’ll catch you completely unprepared when I suddenly accuse you of murder.”

- Skulduggery Pleasant: Death Bringer by Derek Landy

The Ultimate Question, part 274

“Some stories wait their turn to be told, others just tap you on the shoulder and insist you tell them.”

- Michael Scott

The Ultimate Question, part 273

"If you want to know what love is, have a child. If you want to know what pain is, bury him."

- YO-YO BOING! by Giannina Braschi

The Ultimate Question, part 272

"You must learn to heed your senses. Humans use but a tiny percentage of theirs. They barely look, they rarely listen, they never smell, and they think that they can only experience feelings through their skin. But they talk, oh, do they talk."

- The Alchemyst: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott

The Ultimate Question, part 271

Kutner: "God gave the Church and the kid free will. Their exercise of that free will hurt you, means you're just a victim of God's gift to mankind."
Daniel: "Oh yeah, God wants life to have meaning. Life's meaningless without free will. With free will, there's already suffering. So God wants suffering. I got tired of that argument before I even finished saying it."

- House (TV series)

The Ultimate Question, part 270

""What about you?" he (Tesseract) asked, his words not much more than a mumble. "Regrets?"
   "Many," Skulduggery said.
   Tesseract's breath rattled in his chest. "That's the good thing about living. You get to make up for
   past mistakes."
   "Or make brand-new ones.""

- Skulduggery Pleasant: Mortal Coil by Derek Landy

The Ultimate Question, part 269

"Religion is not the opiate of the masses; religion is the placebo of the masses."

- Dr. House in House (TV series)

The Ultimate Question, part 268

"That's the wonderful thing about just about every religion on the planet - they're all so incredibly selfish."

- Skulduggery Pleasant in Skulduggery Pleasant: Death Bringer by Derek Landy

The Ultimate Question, part 267

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant."

- The Doctor in Doctor Who

The Ultimate Question, part 266

Grand Councilwoman: [to Nani and Lilo] "Who are you?"
Stitch: "This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Ya. Still good."

- Lilo & Stitch

The Ultimate Question, part 265

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

- Macbeth in Macbeth (Scene V)

The Ultimate Question, part 264

"All hope abandon, ye who enter in."

- Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri

The Ultimate Question, part 263

"So next time someone complains that you have made a mistake, tell him that may be a good thing. Because without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist."

- Into The Universe with Stephen Hawking

The Ultimate Question, part 262

Daniel: Einstein said, "Coincidences are God's way of remaining anonymous."

House: Woman in Florida said, "Look, Jesus is on my cheese sandwich."

- House and Father Daniel are talking about religion in House (TV series)

The Ultimate Question, part 261

"CONSTANT VIGLANCE!"

- Mad-Eye Moody in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling

The Ultimate Question, part 260

"[on the possibility of contact with an alien civilization] I think it would be a disaster. The extraterrestrials would probably be far in advance of us. The history of advanced races meeting more primitive people on this planet is not very happy, and they were the same species. I think we should keep our heads low."

- Stephen Hawking

The Ultimate Question, part 259

"Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you."

- Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling

The Ultimate Question, part 258

“If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't Oh, and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up.”

- Skulduggery Pleasant: Playing with Fire by Derek Landy

The Ultimate Question, part 257

"Go home, Johann — Walpurgis nacht doesn't concern Englishmen."

- Main character in Dracula's Guest by Bram Stoker

The Ultimate Question, part 256

Frasier: I just don't think it's very smart to make rude gestures at other drivers.

Martin: He cut you off!

Frasier: That doesn't matter. You do not antagonise a man whose bumper sticker says: "If you're close enough to read this, I'll kill you!"

Martin: Big talk from a Volvo.
 

- Frasier

The Ultimate Question, part 255

"Healthy children will not fear life if their elders have integrity enough not to fear death."

- Childhood and Society by Erik H. Erikson

The Ultimate Question, part 254

"Hobbits really are amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month and yet, after a hundred years, they can still surprise you."

- Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

The Ultimate Question, part 253

Patrick Jane: "Why are you telling me all of this?"

Timothy Carter: "Well, I think we have a connection that needs to be honored. I want to say goodbye. I want to apologize for any pain I might have caused you, and I want to release you from this curse you're been under."

Jane: "I'm not under a curse."

Carter: "Doomed to an endless angry search for vengeance you will never have? I would call that a curse, don't you?"

Jane: "I look at it as more of a hobby, and I will have that vengeance."

Carter: "Vengeance? On what? Look at me. I'm just a regular guy. You thought I'd have horns, huh? Right? I'm not a monster. I'm not the devil. I'm just another human being with flaws, and vices and problems just like anybody else. Forget about me. I'm not worth ruining your life."

Jane: "Wherever you go, you delusional freak, I will find you and I will kill you, and then, then I will forget about you."

 

- The Mentalist

The Ultimate Question, part 252

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that we are given."

- The tagline of The Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring (film)

The Ultimate Question, part 251

Amazed Kid: [after two kids see Peter use his "spider" reflexes] How'd you do that?
Peter Parker: Uh... Work out, plenty of rest. You know, eat your green vegetables.
Amazed Kid: That's what my mom is always saying. I just actually never believed her.

- Spiderman 2

The Ultimate Question, part 250

"So what you're saying is you want to be closer to Dad, but you don't actually want him around."

- Niles about Frasier relationship to their father in Frasier

The Ultimate Question, part 249

"One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman."

- The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

The Ultimate Question, part 248

"Being a detective isn't all torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant."
"But I don't like them!" she whined.
"The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives."
She turned her head, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "It may depend?"
"Valkyrie-"
"Fine; I'll go."
"Good girl."
She crossed her arms and didn't respond.
"Are you sulking now?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered curtly.
"Okay."

- Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy

The Ultimate Question, part 247

"I'm surprised they didn't throw you out with the rest of us. You had all the qualifications for losing your job; good at your work, loyal, discreet."

- George Smiley in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John le Carre

Kony 2012

If you have some time, please, watch this video. You don't have to do anything, but you can be one of them, who make the difference.

The Ultimate Question, part 246

Baldridge: So Dr. Lightman just assumes you're a liar if you're a politician?

Gillian Foster: He assumes you're a liar if you're a Homo sapien.

- Lie to Me

The Ultimate Question, part 245

Frodo: Go back, Sam! I'm going to Mordor alone.

Sam: Of course you are. And I'm coming with you!

- The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (film)

The Ultimate Question, part 244

"Power can be held in the smallest of things..."

- The tagline of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings

The Ultimate Question, part 243

“Lots of things are mysteries. But that doesn't mean there isn't an answer to them. It's just that scientists haven't found the answer yet.”

- The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon

The Ultimate Question, part 242

"'So that plan worked out well.'

'Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, "Let's get up close and then see what happens.'

'All the same,' he said, 'I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully.'"

- Skulduggery Pleasant: Playing with Fire by Derek Landy

The Ultimate Question, part 241

Tony: Gibbs'll get in. He's got clearance that'll let him see the dead aliens buried in Area 51.

Kate: Because he probably killed them.

- NCIS

The Ultimate Question, part 240

"If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans… We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet."

- Into The Universe with Stephen Hawking

The Ultimate Question, part 239

"Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtile; natural philosophy, deep; morals, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend. "

- Of Studies by Fracis Bacon

The Ultimate Question, part 238

“Doors are for people with no imagination.”

- Skulduggery Pleasant

The Ultimate Question, part 237

"There are three things I noticed about being thirty-three: Failing memory, hair loss and failing memory."

- Derren Brown in Trick of the Mind

The Ultimate Question, part 236

Little Girl: They wouldn't let us see Grandad when he was dead. Is that cos he'd gone to heaven?

Sherlock Holmes: People don't really go to heaven when they die. They're taken to a special room and burned.

- Sherlock (TV series)

The Ultimate Question, part 235

Edmund: [to Lisa] Sorry. My dad insisted on coming. [a bat appears and turns into Dracula] [clearly aggravated] Dad! I don't need a chaperone. I'm 400 years old.

Dracula: You live in my crypt, you play by my rules.

Edmund: You're tearing me apart!

 

- The Simpsons

The Ultimate Question, part 234

Sherlock Holmes: Punch me in the face.

John Watson: Punch you?

Sherlock Holmes: Yes, punch me, in the face. Didn't you hear me?

John Watson: I always hear "punch me in the face" when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext.

- Sherlock (TV series)

The Ultimate Question, part 233

"If a man cannot make his point to keen boys in ten minutes, he ought to be shot!"

- Robert Baden-Powell in The Scouter

The Ultimate Question, part 232

"[Asked what he thinks about most during the day] Women. They are a complete mystery."

- Stephen Hawking

The Ultimate Question, part 231

"Born in Lust, Turn to Dust. Born in Sin, Come on In."

- Storm of the Century by Stephen King

The Ultimate Question, part 230

"Then you shall judge yourself," the king answered. "that is the most difficult thing of all. It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom."

- The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The Ultimate Question, part 229

Brennan: [after catching the head that fell from the tree] I am going to need an evidence bag!

Booth: Heads up!

[the rest of the body falls in front of Brennan]

Brennan: I am going to need a bigger bag.

- Bones

The Ultimate Question, part 228

“...most people are almost blind and they don’t see most things and there is lots of spare capacity in their heads and it is filled with things which aren’t connected and are silly, like, “I’m worried that I might have left the gas cooker on.” 

- The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon

The Ultimate Question, part 227

Mattis: You stay here and keep a guarding hand on Lovis. What's so funny?
Skalle-Per: I'm to keep a guarding hand on Lovis?
Mattis: Yes. In case a brute comes, or such.
Skalle-Per: If a brute comes and takes on Lovis, then I'd have to keep a guarding hand on the brute instead!

- Ronian the Robber's Daughter (film)

The Ultimate Question, part 226

"Good morning!" said Bilbo, and he meant it. The sun was shining, and the grass was very green. But Gandalf looked at him from under long bushy eyebrows that stuck out farther than the brim of his shady hat.
   "What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"
   "All of them at once," said Bilbo.

- The Hobbit by J.R.R.Tolkien

The Ultimate Question, part 225

"I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that. I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex."

- John Nash's pick-up line in A Beautiful Mind

The Ultimate Question, part 224

"[note to Watson] If convenient, come at once. If inconvenient, come all the same.

- Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

The Ultimate Question, part 223

Booth: You're a smart ass, you know that?

Brennan: Objectively I'd say I'm very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.

- Bones

The Ultimate Question, part 222

"What they failed to teach you at school was that the whole business of being human just got messier and more complicated as you got older. You could tell the truth, be polite, take everyone's feelings into consideration and still have to deal with other people's shit. At nine or ninety."


- A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon

The Ultimate Question, part 221

"Which one was first, egg or hen, and what was rooster's part in the business?"

- Abiturs' parody about matriculation examination questions

The Ultimate Question, part 119

“Most murders are committed by someone who is known to the victim. In fact, you are most likely to be murdered by a member of your own family on Christmas day.”

- The Curious Incident of the dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon